THIS is why Laurie's substack is one of the few I subscribe to and monetarily support. Beautiful writing in the service of the necessary and important. I am also tired (exhausted, actually) of reading the same old shit written about women since I was a girl, and I am now a woman in her sixties. Really, so very sick of it. It's in the air that we breathe and noone seems to notice it. And it's absolutely the same poison, whether sexualized or not, that relates to that demeaning comment about Susan Sontag's aging hands. Because every woman, no matter how brilliant, accomplished, erudite, or otherwise magnificent, has only been put on this earth for the viewing and sexual pleasure of men. Gaaak. Thank you, Laurie. Long may you turn down those requests to edit your words and silence your voice.
Oh, Lynda, dearheart, I would ask you to marry me but I just married Richard a few days ago. Love your comment! Thanks so much for your paid support. It's keeping this thing going. xxL
Thank you so much for continuing to shine a light on the intentional shift people make to blaming criticism of this sort of bullshit as personal offense, in order to circumvent the real issue, the issue central to so many societal ills: women are viewed and portrayed as subhuman. That's how The Pass (thank you again for giving language to this slick move) works, and gets away with so much. "I'm sorry if you were offended" is one of the few phrases that makes me regret my pacifism. Your response to the editor is stellar, as is your analysis.
Most writers would care too much about pleasing the editor. So it's good that you did not. And I agree with your points. It's challenging enough to live in a female body without all the violations the world throws at us daily.
As I already messaged you about this astonishingly insightful essay, I’ll just add a few thoughts it brings up. I read my first Philip Roth book, Portnoy’s Complaint, which I took out from my synagogue’s library, when I was about 11 years old. That started me down a path for a decade or more of Roth, Paul Auster, Martin Amis, Christopher Hitchens, John Irving, John Cheever, even Thomas Hardy. It dawned on me in recent years that these writers literally brain washed me, especially Roth. I’m still coming to terms with my misspent literary youth.
Your usual penetrating, lacerating insight. The revulsion for the female, whether it be her cunt, her smells, her excess flesh, or her shamefully old hands. I love my old hands. I love what your old hands can do as they dance across the keys. Thank you, thank you.
Men writing for other men, not interested in imagining how their words might land in the mind of a female reader. This is a fascinating perspective, and I admire how the themes in your writing are coalescing around this important idea. I’ve been meaning to reread Lolita for years. To think about why Nabokov was once such an important figure for me and how it came to be that I once had actual cards made up in a mall kiosk calling myself a “bald punk rock nymphet.” I can tell that when I do get around to rereading Lolita, your essay will be on my mind.
wow. i was looking forward to this post and oh, you did not disappoint. thank you for letting us read that review, and for not bending to that editor's request. i love your calm and precise rebuttal (did he ever respond?), way you lay out the facts of the matter—the effective substitute of black or poor person i/o women—is forensic. i cringed reading how white described women's genitalia...god, it's so boring. i mean, smelling a pair of balls is no picnic either unless you like funky old socks or you're really into the person, whereupon its intimate proximity is exciting and pleasurable. i'd be happy to discourse on all the wonky penises i've seen in my day, but i think you said it best by describing a flaccid one as a turtle head receding into its shell lol. any body part can be praised or ridiculed but yeah, that his descriptions could be so blithely unchallenged is really fucking something.
Cormac McCarthy and Vanity Fair article, lover versus victim, we have a real men and media issue right now. The difference in perspective is literal abuse.
From my message: Good morning. I just have to text you because I have your number and I can do that. I just got to the second paragraph of This is the review I wrote. I was hoping you’d publish the review. I had to stop here for a minute. You are so fucking brilliant and I can’t believe I know you. You might just be the smartest, wisest, thoughtful person I’ve ever met. I’m feeling chocked up at how you can write thoughts and words that are just so searingly insightful. Thank you. Now I have to read the rest
Laurie, thank you for this. I needed to read on this particular morning when small dick energy takes the car keys. I’m in a writing group with just such a male writer as you describe in your newsletter. He comes to group with work that “just poured out” of him. Work he “doesn’t even know what it is.” Work that is sexually violent and vile with no reflection. I guess it “pouring out” is his version of self-protection because how can he be responsible for something over which he has no control? This writer is saying look at me! My muscular verbs! Don’t pay attention to the degradation of women. This poor narrator had a domineering mother… 🤢. Your newsletter is terrific!
God, what a fantastic unveiling. I couldn't have read that book past the ass-cock moment. Yeah, he writes "well," but that is not enough. What he says shows him as unspeakable. And the editor was worse. Yes, make that a black woman's ass and cunt, and he'd have had a giant lawsuit on his hands. And in the times I read how men are unhappy with the "feminization of America."
Indeed! >>I thought of Jesus, himself, and Abraham and God, and I thought for fuck’s sake enough with these men and their sons and their fathers dominating our thoughts and lathering themselves up, as if their experience is important or dramatic or interesting, just because they insist it is.<<
Riveting. But dang, I am now sadly reflecting on all of the misogynistic & sexist words and experiences I've endured... in my life time.....I love that you didn't revise (compromise) your fierce, truthful, inspiring essay. What a loss to the readers of that publication.
THIS is why Laurie's substack is one of the few I subscribe to and monetarily support. Beautiful writing in the service of the necessary and important. I am also tired (exhausted, actually) of reading the same old shit written about women since I was a girl, and I am now a woman in her sixties. Really, so very sick of it. It's in the air that we breathe and noone seems to notice it. And it's absolutely the same poison, whether sexualized or not, that relates to that demeaning comment about Susan Sontag's aging hands. Because every woman, no matter how brilliant, accomplished, erudite, or otherwise magnificent, has only been put on this earth for the viewing and sexual pleasure of men. Gaaak. Thank you, Laurie. Long may you turn down those requests to edit your words and silence your voice.
Oh, Lynda, dearheart, I would ask you to marry me but I just married Richard a few days ago. Love your comment! Thanks so much for your paid support. It's keeping this thing going. xxL
Whew! I would marry you in a NY minute (and would have to divorce my own sweet husband) so it's a good thing you and Richard are legal!
Thank you so much for continuing to shine a light on the intentional shift people make to blaming criticism of this sort of bullshit as personal offense, in order to circumvent the real issue, the issue central to so many societal ills: women are viewed and portrayed as subhuman. That's how The Pass (thank you again for giving language to this slick move) works, and gets away with so much. "I'm sorry if you were offended" is one of the few phrases that makes me regret my pacifism. Your response to the editor is stellar, as is your analysis.
I don't know if "the pass" contains an ironic pun—they make a pass at you, they get a pass for it.
Most writers would care too much about pleasing the editor. So it's good that you did not. And I agree with your points. It's challenging enough to live in a female body without all the violations the world throws at us daily.
As I already messaged you about this astonishingly insightful essay, I’ll just add a few thoughts it brings up. I read my first Philip Roth book, Portnoy’s Complaint, which I took out from my synagogue’s library, when I was about 11 years old. That started me down a path for a decade or more of Roth, Paul Auster, Martin Amis, Christopher Hitchens, John Irving, John Cheever, even Thomas Hardy. It dawned on me in recent years that these writers literally brain washed me, especially Roth. I’m still coming to terms with my misspent literary youth.
Not misspent but I know what you mean. Lots of style to steal from Roth.
Your usual penetrating, lacerating insight. The revulsion for the female, whether it be her cunt, her smells, her excess flesh, or her shamefully old hands. I love my old hands. I love what your old hands can do as they dance across the keys. Thank you, thank you.
A pleasure to serve women.
Couldn’t have responded to the thrilling balm that is Laurie Stone any better than this Janet! Thanks for taking the time!
Men writing for other men, not interested in imagining how their words might land in the mind of a female reader. This is a fascinating perspective, and I admire how the themes in your writing are coalescing around this important idea. I’ve been meaning to reread Lolita for years. To think about why Nabokov was once such an important figure for me and how it came to be that I once had actual cards made up in a mall kiosk calling myself a “bald punk rock nymphet.” I can tell that when I do get around to rereading Lolita, your essay will be on my mind.
So pleased to hear this and to know this work resonates for you.
wow. i was looking forward to this post and oh, you did not disappoint. thank you for letting us read that review, and for not bending to that editor's request. i love your calm and precise rebuttal (did he ever respond?), way you lay out the facts of the matter—the effective substitute of black or poor person i/o women—is forensic. i cringed reading how white described women's genitalia...god, it's so boring. i mean, smelling a pair of balls is no picnic either unless you like funky old socks or you're really into the person, whereupon its intimate proximity is exciting and pleasurable. i'd be happy to discourse on all the wonky penises i've seen in my day, but i think you said it best by describing a flaccid one as a turtle head receding into its shell lol. any body part can be praised or ridiculed but yeah, that his descriptions could be so blithely unchallenged is really fucking something.
Cormac McCarthy and Vanity Fair article, lover versus victim, we have a real men and media issue right now. The difference in perspective is literal abuse.
Thank you, thank you and thank you. Your insight is spot-on and laser-like as usual. I so value your writing, Laurie.
Deeply meaningful to hear.
From my message: Good morning. I just have to text you because I have your number and I can do that. I just got to the second paragraph of This is the review I wrote. I was hoping you’d publish the review. I had to stop here for a minute. You are so fucking brilliant and I can’t believe I know you. You might just be the smartest, wisest, thoughtful person I’ve ever met. I’m feeling chocked up at how you can write thoughts and words that are just so searingly insightful. Thank you. Now I have to read the rest
Love you! I learn from you. xxL
“Men making passes” has now become for me “men advancing ‘The Pass’’.”Thank you. 🙏
Laurie, thank you for this. I needed to read on this particular morning when small dick energy takes the car keys. I’m in a writing group with just such a male writer as you describe in your newsletter. He comes to group with work that “just poured out” of him. Work he “doesn’t even know what it is.” Work that is sexually violent and vile with no reflection. I guess it “pouring out” is his version of self-protection because how can he be responsible for something over which he has no control? This writer is saying look at me! My muscular verbs! Don’t pay attention to the degradation of women. This poor narrator had a domineering mother… 🤢. Your newsletter is terrific!
Thanks so much!!
God, what a fantastic unveiling. I couldn't have read that book past the ass-cock moment. Yeah, he writes "well," but that is not enough. What he says shows him as unspeakable. And the editor was worse. Yes, make that a black woman's ass and cunt, and he'd have had a giant lawsuit on his hands. And in the times I read how men are unhappy with the "feminization of America."
Indeed! >>I thought of Jesus, himself, and Abraham and God, and I thought for fuck’s sake enough with these men and their sons and their fathers dominating our thoughts and lathering themselves up, as if their experience is important or dramatic or interesting, just because they insist it is.<<
So powerful and spot on!
Thanks, love. Very pleased to hear. xxL
Riveting. But dang, I am now sadly reflecting on all of the misogynistic & sexist words and experiences I've endured... in my life time.....I love that you didn't revise (compromise) your fierce, truthful, inspiring essay. What a loss to the readers of that publication.
Thanks. If only they had thought so. This post is one of many reasons Substack is so valuable.