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Laurie Stone's avatar

This note is from Christine Stansell, who asked me to post it for her: Wonderful.--The Girls at the Boys' Table. I was one of those girls, having gone to two colleges (Rice and Princeton when Pton had just admitted women) where the sex ratio was 5 men to 1 women and (at Princeton) 31 men: one woman in the lst year of coeducation. These experiences were critical to making me a feminist. Which has been one of the great gifts of my life. I learned a lot at the Boys' Table, but I have learned so much from the Girls/Women I have known, both of my own generation and the (now two) that have followed! half a century! Thanks, Christine Stansell

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Susan I Weinstein's avatar

I want to blow up the table, having a lifetime of art, writing, stolen or thwarted by men. I love men, who in their bones are egalitarian and welcome women to the table—behavior often learned from a mother why it was important.

Thanks for your post. My novels, The Anarchist’s Girlfriend and Paradise Gardens were published by a good press a while back. I am running chapters of Substack. They are free- my bank won’t allow the Stripe set up. But it is fun. I can’t afford subscriptions but like what you are doing.

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Lucian K. Truscott IV's avatar

More, more, more. You are so good when you write about this...the disappearing ink of feminism is a wonderful metaphor...writing about the experiences of women makes you go deep, and what you dig up is G O L D.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Thanks, love. I hope what I write is not in disappearing ink, knowing of course it is. xxL

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Chris J. Rice's avatar

Lately more than usual I watch most American TV with a keen eye on all the covertly embedded support for socially regressive agendas. It’s everywhere. Thank you.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Yup. Oy.

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Kevin C's avatar

I just saw a clip of an interview Jane Fonda did on a British show, about the movie Julia. The guy asked her about making a lesbian movie. After all, two women, friends, being together without a man. Lesbian.

Fonda didn't seem to know whether to laugh or hit him. She explained that it's a movie about two women talking to each other about their lives. Who are you? What's happened in your life? Better than laughing at him or hitting him. Showing him to be the fool he was for his question.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

It does give women the job of teaching men how not to be a dick, a job I will never assume, not even for tons of money, and you know how much I like money.

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Sandra de Helen's avatar

You gotta love an essay that ends with "oh for fuck's sake." I love this so much. And agree with every word.

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Jan Elisabeth's avatar

Superb -- this disappearing of feminism, repainting what does survive as whining and decontextualising every act of misogyny as some poor girl-woman with hurt feelings is endemic and the analysis here nails it. Love 'famisht' -- just so mixed up, dizzy little women :(

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Laurie Stone's avatar

So happy you get it! Of course you do.

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Cindy Jennings's avatar

When I admit to it, I find myself in a state of chronic rage living in this world designed by the patriarchy to serve the preferences and priorities of the patriarchy. This essay was painful to read because it is true, and because it captures the experiences we live.

I was socialized (weren't we all?) to accept my 'less-than' status as correct and appropriate. Girls, ya know, essentially belong in the chattel caste. But saying the quiet part out loud is usually avoided, which is why I appreciate this unapologetic essay all the more.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

I’m glad our paths have crossed.

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Chin-Sun Lee's avatar

nothing pleases me more than a brilliantly seething feminist rant, complete with glorious f-bombs. and the lagniappe (it's a cajun thing, look it up, hehe): another yiddish-ism! farmisht doesn't have quite the satisfying bang of schmatta, but i'm delighted to learn about it. i found this entire post quite cathartic.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Of course I know what lagniappe means!

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Chin-Sun Lee's avatar

duh, what DON’t you know?!

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Laurie Stone's avatar

That would be difficult to know.

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Chin-Sun Lee's avatar

lol

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Kate Gonzalez Long's avatar

This. Just this.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Thanks, love. xxL

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Kelley Rouse's avatar

Let me just say this story hit the spot. Thank you.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

I am so glad.

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KateLynn Hibbard's avatar

Love this. Know this in my bones.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Thanks! xxL

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Blanche Boyd's avatar

I love your fury!!

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Hal Davis's avatar

"obituaries for the death of feminism have been published every day in umpteen venues since feminism first poked its hydra-headed form out of dead earth." This appears to be a constant tidal pushback. Jeanne Gomoll noted the reaction in science fiction:

During the '70s with so many new women writers receiving major awards, Hugos and Nebulas, it was very "in" to be a feminist. It was the new thing, people were very excited about it, and people talked about it a lot. Then during the '80s, there was a backlash against feminism in general—"this is old news, this is selfish, women were selfish for thinking of themselves in this way"—and feminist SF.

The backlash against feminist SF was that it was "boring."

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Laurie Stone's avatar

A backlash is always a front lash.

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Kim Baer's avatar

So appreciate this!

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Thanks, love.

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David Roberts's avatar

Thanks for this essay. It made me think that the doctor scene comes way too late.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Everything comes too late . . . because the drama is a woman learning she hates women.

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Harriet Grae's avatar

Love reading your writing about this stuff, Laurie. Your eldership, wisdom, intellect, humour, passion, advocacy all bundled together makes for a truly exhilarating read!

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Thanks! I have no elder wisdom, and I apologize for suggesting I do. I think it’s just humor. In my generation, we wanted to be funny.

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Harriet Grae's avatar

You didn’t suggest you do, but it comes through nonetheless, as is inevitable when you speak from a lifetime of experience of thinking and paying attention to things —and bringing humour to all of that. I think I especially find it important and moving (and funny! I promise!) to hear from women of your generation who’ve been involved in the feminist movement for decades talking about the long arc of it.

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Laurie Stone's avatar

Yes. That is super important.

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