The energy of this post -- the fierceness, the honesty, the specifics -- is what I need more of in my life...and I think a lot of people do. Thank you!
Wow, does this hit home. I too have been paralyzed in my life from those kinds of comments, from men and women. What people get out of doing that is beyond me, except as you say jealousy and power. So glad to not care as much and you're right, a sense of humour is imperative. Jealousy is such a useless, debasing emotion. Runs rampant in politics too. And friendships, and and and....
Thanks so much for this comment! It's stunning to be in the line of fire because people think they can say anything the want and get away with it. They do get away with it. xxL
I watched some of that Mike Wallace interview with my mouth open. What an absolutely small, petty, arrogant man. I also wanted Babs to rip off the mic and go, but she handled it with so much class and honesty. Love that you covered these two powerhouse women. I haven’t watched the Martha Stewart doc yet but I’m going to. And no wonder so many of our mothers passed down unexpressed rage and so many of us become enraged. I don’t know if I’ve had enough coffee to deal with this right now, Laurie ;)
Wallace was an arrogant nasty piece of work and his hit jobs obviously gave him way too much satisfaction. That particular interview made me so angry - if I could have, I would have put my arms thru the screen and choked him!!
Every time I read your words, I am swamped with delight, pain, rage, hilarity, and ultimately deep satisfaction. They open the dark boxes of my thoughts and feelings and allow me to rummage, to try things on. Thank you.
A nasty interview by Mike Wallace. Condescending. Patronizing. Manipulative. I hate his last comment. "I'm getting to like that girl." She's not a girl and she doesn't need your approval. Great post, Laurie. Thank you.
I have always loved Martha Stewart. Before Google search her books were the best resource for so much I wanted to learn how to do. And didn't even know I wanted to do. And when she came out with her magazine, oo la la, it was a treasure trove of how to do everything and do it well. It was a good thing. I love her ability to keep on rising. And if you don't need a lesson on how to make the perfect martini, ignore the recipe. Choice....for me, my Feminism has always been about personal choice. You make yours and I make mine. And about rising up every woman I can, whenever I can. Bullying celebrities and making them cry is not journalism. It is sadism. Keep up the good fight😘
Well, your post got my juices flowing. The every day misogyny women put up with, famous or not, is disgraceful. And I'd love to see it acknowledged and countered more often. Who among us women hasn't experienced incredibly hurtful insults?
I'm sad for both Martha and Barbara that they had to experience those things. But they both have so much to be proud of, and I hope they both have lots of support in their personal lives.
What would people want if they didn't have the obstacles they deal with? Maybe it's just me, but I think more of us would want meaningful connection with others and a purposeful life.
"Basta, no more, muthafuckers." Dying. So tired of women being dogged and held to a 10x standard of perfection never required of men in the same stratosphere. F**k off with this misogynistic BS.
Jesus, both interviewers spouted off some garbage, but misogyny aside, what also got me was Mike Wallace asking Barbra what her mother thought of her living “in a place like this,” seeing nothing wrong with shaming a place real people live in and have lived in.
i love this- thank you- i have been coming up against my desire to be liked a lot lately, even though i imagine i have a persona of i dont care what you think. it's hard to admit that i do, but also, ha ha , something therapy ish like, i need to see it and feel that want to be liked before i can afford to be not liked? and i always love the distinctions you make about pleasure and reality. THANK YOU! xoxoox
I understand your inner debate. It’s not pleasure and reality that are juxtaposed. It’s pleasure and being admirable. Wanting to be admirable will sink a woman like nothing else.
I know you previously said we can’t be friends but I agree with you one thousand percent here. I am the only woman of my acquaintance who admits to admiring Martha Stewart for her ability to build an empire and isn’t preoccupied with the idea that Martha isn’t « nice enough ». Thanks for writing about this.
Amen!! I couldn't wait to get Barbra's almost 1000 page book and gobbled it up - you see her on every page.
What is wrong with wanting things surrounding you to be as your eyes want to see them? I love that!
Martha grew on me - I didn't get satisfaction when she wan sent away - I thought, like most feminists, if course - men get away with that shit all the time but, a woman - no way!
I really started to get her when she got the show with Snoop Dog - loved it!!
It’s such a pleasure to read this piece. This piece is both disquieting and comforting. It’s disquieting to re-enter into the misogyny I was steeped in growing up. When I was growing up, Mike Wallace was an arbiter of reality, of normality. He provided the viewpoint I was supposed to have if I wanted to fit in. If he didn’t like someone, then that meant we weren’t supposed to like them either. And I wanted so much to fit in. To be able to swim along with everybody else as a participant in the culture. The discomfort comes in because if he’s allowed to treat Barbra that way, and I go along with this, on some level - as a woman, I’m understanding that the condition for participating in the culture is self immolation. The discomfort is heightened because I see Barbra being punished, and I see her having to go along with it. Here she is, a creative force, major producer of much loved films and music. Mike Wallace has created nothing, and here he is punishing her and, we’re allowing it we’re going along with it. Why? Because she’s a woman. The line in that interview that really stuck with me was when he said, “What Barbara wants attention on now - is being a producer.” He’s acting as an adult speaking to a child who just wants attention. Why is she on 60 minutes? Because she’s a major force and the culture, someone incredibly successful, someone to be admired. He can’t cope with admiring her. instead he has to reduce her to a child who’s just wanting attention.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me. But interestingly, it doesn’t give me the option to edit; my only options are: share link to comment, hide comment or remove comment.
This is fantastic, Laurie. It reminded me, also, of the moment at VMAs when Taylor Swift won a big award and that pig Kanye jumped onstage, INTERRUPTED HER, and said Beyonce was better. TS's face broke my heart and then I wanted to kill. I wanted to kill Mike Wallace too. So many women you're supposed to snark about--and it only makes me love them more. BUGGER OFF
Thank you. Somehow all my therapy clients are talking about the patriarchy this week, and it's in my life elsewhere, and now here. I know it's everywhere but sometimes I see it suddenly - OH! It's good to not be alone in this. 🙏🏻❣️
The energy of this post -- the fierceness, the honesty, the specifics -- is what I need more of in my life...and I think a lot of people do. Thank you!
Dear Meredith, thanks so much for this wonderful comment. Please come to the Zoom conversation tomorrow! The info is on the post near the bottom. xxL
Thank you!
Wow, does this hit home. I too have been paralyzed in my life from those kinds of comments, from men and women. What people get out of doing that is beyond me, except as you say jealousy and power. So glad to not care as much and you're right, a sense of humour is imperative. Jealousy is such a useless, debasing emotion. Runs rampant in politics too. And friendships, and and and....
Thanks for this!
Thanks so much for this comment! It's stunning to be in the line of fire because people think they can say anything the want and get away with it. They do get away with it. xxL
The older I am the more I appreciate Martha.
I especially enjoy seeing her Instagram posts.
She seemd to truly Enjoy Living Her Life!
(especially when she posts photos of herself in her very own swimming pool!)
Go Martha!🥂🍾🥳
Carpe Diem every damn day!🥰🤩🙏
I watched some of that Mike Wallace interview with my mouth open. What an absolutely small, petty, arrogant man. I also wanted Babs to rip off the mic and go, but she handled it with so much class and honesty. Love that you covered these two powerhouse women. I haven’t watched the Martha Stewart doc yet but I’m going to. And no wonder so many of our mothers passed down unexpressed rage and so many of us become enraged. I don’t know if I’ve had enough coffee to deal with this right now, Laurie ;)
Great comment!
I loved the doc - let's start with that positive
Wallace was an arrogant nasty piece of work and his hit jobs obviously gave him way too much satisfaction. That particular interview made me so angry - if I could have, I would have put my arms thru the screen and choked him!!
Good work!
I watch the Martha Stewart documentary… Worth watching👍🏽
Every time I read your words, I am swamped with delight, pain, rage, hilarity, and ultimately deep satisfaction. They open the dark boxes of my thoughts and feelings and allow me to rummage, to try things on. Thank you.
I love this comment. I'm very happy to open boxes! xxL
A nasty interview by Mike Wallace. Condescending. Patronizing. Manipulative. I hate his last comment. "I'm getting to like that girl." She's not a girl and she doesn't need your approval. Great post, Laurie. Thank you.
I have always loved Martha Stewart. Before Google search her books were the best resource for so much I wanted to learn how to do. And didn't even know I wanted to do. And when she came out with her magazine, oo la la, it was a treasure trove of how to do everything and do it well. It was a good thing. I love her ability to keep on rising. And if you don't need a lesson on how to make the perfect martini, ignore the recipe. Choice....for me, my Feminism has always been about personal choice. You make yours and I make mine. And about rising up every woman I can, whenever I can. Bullying celebrities and making them cry is not journalism. It is sadism. Keep up the good fight😘
Thanks, dear D.
Well, your post got my juices flowing. The every day misogyny women put up with, famous or not, is disgraceful. And I'd love to see it acknowledged and countered more often. Who among us women hasn't experienced incredibly hurtful insults?
I'm sad for both Martha and Barbara that they had to experience those things. But they both have so much to be proud of, and I hope they both have lots of support in their personal lives.
What would people want if they didn't have the obstacles they deal with? Maybe it's just me, but I think more of us would want meaningful connection with others and a purposeful life.
Thanks for this comment! Juices flowing, best reaction!
"Basta, no more, muthafuckers." Dying. So tired of women being dogged and held to a 10x standard of perfection never required of men in the same stratosphere. F**k off with this misogynistic BS.
Jesus, both interviewers spouted off some garbage, but misogyny aside, what also got me was Mike Wallace asking Barbra what her mother thought of her living “in a place like this,” seeing nothing wrong with shaming a place real people live in and have lived in.
i love this- thank you- i have been coming up against my desire to be liked a lot lately, even though i imagine i have a persona of i dont care what you think. it's hard to admit that i do, but also, ha ha , something therapy ish like, i need to see it and feel that want to be liked before i can afford to be not liked? and i always love the distinctions you make about pleasure and reality. THANK YOU! xoxoox
I understand your inner debate. It’s not pleasure and reality that are juxtaposed. It’s pleasure and being admirable. Wanting to be admirable will sink a woman like nothing else.
I know you previously said we can’t be friends but I agree with you one thousand percent here. I am the only woman of my acquaintance who admits to admiring Martha Stewart for her ability to build an empire and isn’t preoccupied with the idea that Martha isn’t « nice enough ». Thanks for writing about this.
I said we couldn’t be friends? Oh, well. You know, I think Martha gives some people pleasure, admirable or not.
Yes, and I am one of those people.
Amen!! I couldn't wait to get Barbra's almost 1000 page book and gobbled it up - you see her on every page.
What is wrong with wanting things surrounding you to be as your eyes want to see them? I love that!
Martha grew on me - I didn't get satisfaction when she wan sent away - I thought, like most feminists, if course - men get away with that shit all the time but, a woman - no way!
I really started to get her when she got the show with Snoop Dog - loved it!!
It’s such a pleasure to read this piece. This piece is both disquieting and comforting. It’s disquieting to re-enter into the misogyny I was steeped in growing up. When I was growing up, Mike Wallace was an arbiter of reality, of normality. He provided the viewpoint I was supposed to have if I wanted to fit in. If he didn’t like someone, then that meant we weren’t supposed to like them either. And I wanted so much to fit in. To be able to swim along with everybody else as a participant in the culture. The discomfort comes in because if he’s allowed to treat Barbra that way, and I go along with this, on some level - as a woman, I’m understanding that the condition for participating in the culture is self immolation. The discomfort is heightened because I see Barbra being punished, and I see her having to go along with it. Here she is, a creative force, major producer of much loved films and music. Mike Wallace has created nothing, and here he is punishing her and, we’re allowing it we’re going along with it. Why? Because she’s a woman. The line in that interview that really stuck with me was when he said, “What Barbara wants attention on now - is being a producer.” He’s acting as an adult speaking to a child who just wants attention. Why is she on 60 minutes? Because she’s a major force and the culture, someone incredibly successful, someone to be admired. He can’t cope with admiring her. instead he has to reduce her to a child who’s just wanting attention.
By approving or disapproving, he inserts himself as the center of attention. Old ploy still in practice everywhere on my social media posts.
This is my first comment on Substack-
I guess we can’t edit, and I very much want to change, ”read-enter,” to, “re-enter.”
I’m typing on my phone, and wasn’t finished with this comment yet….
I was going to say Laurie, your piece is comforting because I realize I am not alone in this disquiet.
PS: I’m very excited as I can now edit! Perhaps I wasn’t touching the three dots correctly on my new phone.
You can edit with the three little dots beside the post.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me. But interestingly, it doesn’t give me the option to edit; my only options are: share link to comment, hide comment or remove comment.
Ah, maybe only I can edit my comments. Hmm.
This is fantastic, Laurie. It reminded me, also, of the moment at VMAs when Taylor Swift won a big award and that pig Kanye jumped onstage, INTERRUPTED HER, and said Beyonce was better. TS's face broke my heart and then I wanted to kill. I wanted to kill Mike Wallace too. So many women you're supposed to snark about--and it only makes me love them more. BUGGER OFF
Kill is right. xxL
Thank you. Somehow all my therapy clients are talking about the patriarchy this week, and it's in my life elsewhere, and now here. I know it's everywhere but sometimes I see it suddenly - OH! It's good to not be alone in this. 🙏🏻❣️
I’m surprised your patients ever talk about anything else. 😎
😊