Your writing never disappoints. I'm a nurse/artist (not caterer) so I understand the dichotomy. I was resentful of having to work as an RN to support my art but now see that it has provided lots of subject matter with "something to say" as many artists lack.
"I’m difficult for men as well as for women, but men are pushovers. They don’t even see clearly what you look like. A man walks into a bar I like the look of, and he sees in my face a place to land. I had a friend who wanted to know why men liked me. I said, “They can see, in a second, I like them back, if I do. I’m not suspicious. They’re not going to fail if they come close.” In my eighties, I have come to believe this is the secret of it all. You are obviously quicker to grasp these important things:-)!
HA! Love this: "I thought I would quit catering once I stabilized my life. I didn’t stabilize my life, and I didn’t quit catering." I so relate....And i also love Richard's insight about "boundaries" and "confusion"..... I never catered but worked as a proofreader for many years (in the beginning of my career as an actor). And I absolutely hated proofreading. One afternoon I was in the casting waiting room for one of my first "Law & Order" auditions and another actor/acquaintance (male) sauntered in (who I knew from proofreading gigs). We're sitting there waiting to go in to do our respective auditions, and he started chatting with me about proofreading! I was young and horrified!... I just wanted to focus on my audition and said something like: "I really don't want to talk about proofreading at the moment." And I'll never forget his response: "Bernadette, there's never any shame in earning a living."
i really loved how heti's book so unabashedly centered on female friendship (along with art-making)—i'd never read anything before that did so in such an immersive way. also loved these lines: "Have you ever thought you lived in a place when you were only passing through? Or thought you were a visitor in the place where you lived? Sometimes, in the garden of forking paths, you move past the possibility of return, and it becomes interesting." i felt i lived in the catskills for two summers, though i knew i was passing through; and it took me almost a year to stop feeling like a visitor here in new orleans. so interesting to consider our perceptions of place and permanence.
Good Thursday Morn. Just turned on my lap top. I'm usually found on my IPAD. Close women friends? I've ones alll the way back to childhood. Not interested in casual intimacy, My best friend from HighSchool is STUNNING and a much finer writer than I (published) She's the only woman I would consider having a sex with although we are much closer intertwined in memories. It would take the mystery out of the bond. I like my husband's broad harry chest. Never like the shiny boys. As always. Your reader on the lake.
This was wonderful, and I've now got Sheila Heti's novel on My TBR list. Women fascinate me, too, my own womanhood included. Much to think about here from your always original mind/writing style, Laurie.
I just upgraded to paid after reading things women think. because you have a way with words and you are a teller of your own truth and I feel your generosity
Thanks so much dear Susan. Please come to one of the zoom conversations, if you think they will interest you. Super fun community vibe . . . the next one is Saturday May 31 from 3 to 4 EST. xxL
"Have you ever thought you lived in a place when you were only passing through? Or thought you were a visitor in the place where you lived? Sometimes, in the garden of forking paths, you move past the possibility of return, and it becomes interesting."
Interesting it has been. Being open to ask whether I was living in a place rather than visiting allowed me to admit 'I was not a southern gal' and then choose to leave North Carolina once completing my graduate degree after three years. Before that, being open to the questions meant I could admit I was done with Kansas City about the same time Kansas City seemed to be done with me. Being current with oneself is gardening: seasons and chapters.
I often wonder about the difficulties in female bonding that I have and continue to run into. Elisa's description resonates. I wonder if women of different classes and races have fewer challenges connecting to one another than white women of a certain class. How do we stop perpetuating distrust? Perhaps by identifying it and writing about it. Thanks for this exploration, Laurie.
Your writing never disappoints. I'm a nurse/artist (not caterer) so I understand the dichotomy. I was resentful of having to work as an RN to support my art but now see that it has provided lots of subject matter with "something to say" as many artists lack.
Thanks, dear Lora, you are so right about using the other lives we lead, and your other life is richly evocative and full of physical detail. xxL
Daaaaaang I love this, for both the content and the construction of it.
Thank you. To me, they are inseparable. xxL
"I’m difficult for men as well as for women, but men are pushovers. They don’t even see clearly what you look like. A man walks into a bar I like the look of, and he sees in my face a place to land. I had a friend who wanted to know why men liked me. I said, “They can see, in a second, I like them back, if I do. I’m not suspicious. They’re not going to fail if they come close.” In my eighties, I have come to believe this is the secret of it all. You are obviously quicker to grasp these important things:-)!
Yup.
God, you’re good.
Thanks! Tender.
HA! Love this: "I thought I would quit catering once I stabilized my life. I didn’t stabilize my life, and I didn’t quit catering." I so relate....And i also love Richard's insight about "boundaries" and "confusion"..... I never catered but worked as a proofreader for many years (in the beginning of my career as an actor). And I absolutely hated proofreading. One afternoon I was in the casting waiting room for one of my first "Law & Order" auditions and another actor/acquaintance (male) sauntered in (who I knew from proofreading gigs). We're sitting there waiting to go in to do our respective auditions, and he started chatting with me about proofreading! I was young and horrified!... I just wanted to focus on my audition and said something like: "I really don't want to talk about proofreading at the moment." And I'll never forget his response: "Bernadette, there's never any shame in earning a living."
Good guy!
i really loved how heti's book so unabashedly centered on female friendship (along with art-making)—i'd never read anything before that did so in such an immersive way. also loved these lines: "Have you ever thought you lived in a place when you were only passing through? Or thought you were a visitor in the place where you lived? Sometimes, in the garden of forking paths, you move past the possibility of return, and it becomes interesting." i felt i lived in the catskills for two summers, though i knew i was passing through; and it took me almost a year to stop feeling like a visitor here in new orleans. so interesting to consider our perceptions of place and permanence.
Thanks for this wonderful comment. Heti's book is rolling waves of permission for a certain sound in literature.
❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️
Good Thursday Morn. Just turned on my lap top. I'm usually found on my IPAD. Close women friends? I've ones alll the way back to childhood. Not interested in casual intimacy, My best friend from HighSchool is STUNNING and a much finer writer than I (published) She's the only woman I would consider having a sex with although we are much closer intertwined in memories. It would take the mystery out of the bond. I like my husband's broad harry chest. Never like the shiny boys. As always. Your reader on the lake.
❤️🙌🏻“When he said this, I thought he was right, and it struck me the secret of a mistake is in the ways it is also not a mistake.”
This was wonderful, and I've now got Sheila Heti's novel on My TBR list. Women fascinate me, too, my own womanhood included. Much to think about here from your always original mind/writing style, Laurie.
Thanks, hugely, see you soon. xxL
I just upgraded to paid after reading things women think. because you have a way with words and you are a teller of your own truth and I feel your generosity
Thanks so much dear Susan. Please come to one of the zoom conversations, if you think they will interest you. Super fun community vibe . . . the next one is Saturday May 31 from 3 to 4 EST. xxL
"Have you ever thought you lived in a place when you were only passing through? Or thought you were a visitor in the place where you lived? Sometimes, in the garden of forking paths, you move past the possibility of return, and it becomes interesting."
Interesting it has been. Being open to ask whether I was living in a place rather than visiting allowed me to admit 'I was not a southern gal' and then choose to leave North Carolina once completing my graduate degree after three years. Before that, being open to the questions meant I could admit I was done with Kansas City about the same time Kansas City seemed to be done with me. Being current with oneself is gardening: seasons and chapters.
Much to ponder here, but you know yourself, so I agree -- except for "I am the opposite of cool." Eye of the beholder, obv.
"...thought you were a visitor in the place where you lived? ... and it becomes interesting."
I've been a visitor in my new home and city for a bit more than 18 years, and have never been happier.
Yes, an excellent feeling. You know, the narrator is a different person from me, cool or uncool, even when we share the same experiences.
I keep forgetting to invoke Schrödinger's cool.
The enchantment of narrative and of the first person pronoun. Did you really find a bike pump when you were cycling on the moon?
I often wonder about the difficulties in female bonding that I have and continue to run into. Elisa's description resonates. I wonder if women of different classes and races have fewer challenges connecting to one another than white women of a certain class. How do we stop perpetuating distrust? Perhaps by identifying it and writing about it. Thanks for this exploration, Laurie.
I am only ever writing about the experience of my narrator. Laurie the human has nothing to generalize about groups of other people. xxL