39 Comments

I watched the documentary this week and am delighted to have this companion piece. I also wondered at the ease with which she said “I need to be dominated by a man.”

I find it ridiculous that you’re going to be 78. I think of you as my age, but smarter.

I’m understanding now that our physical age is meaningless. It represents nothing.

Thanks for always writing something I want to read.

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We are the same age and have always been. xxL

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Saw the title and thought--oh no, a piece about Liz Truss! What was I thinking? That's news-cycle brain for you. How happy I was to find Liz Taylor and the other 50-foot women in this delicious smart-as-always piece. Plus the 75- foot (minus the height of one vertebrae) Laurie Stone! You make 78 look like an interesting inhabitable space, one that has not yet been narrativized. Really, what narratives do we have of thinking women at age 78? WHY SO FEW? (I know the answer to that question.)

Keep talking, I'm listening.

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Thanks, love. Oy, I will change the title to Liz Taylor. Thanks for the beautiful comment and for you friendship. I'm not intentionally chronicling an age, and I guess it doesn't matter whether it's intentional. xxL

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yes, please keep writing

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Of course! If you know anyone who can start a paid subscription, please pressure them to death! xxL

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At 71, I was a bit young to have taken part in the whole Liz phenomenon, though my mother did take me with her to see Cleopatra when I was 11. (The nuns were scandalized. I learned not to tell them what movies we went to. Especially not Goldfinger!) I didn't see anything wrong with Cleopatra. I watch the Liz documentary last week and was fascinated by it, and bewildered by that "I need a man to dominate me" language. She only came into her own later in life, and was a brilliant fundraiser and champion for AIDs understanding. Thanks for this. My favorite line was the memorable one about the gods. Thank you for another memorable column.

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Mine too, Janet! Jinx

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Thank you very much. You hit, as you do, a fine, fine line deep inside here with specific juxtapositions, weaving the "why are you looking at me ?" the what are you hoping to sees ... the startled sight in darkened reflections that we are human, the bones, the on the way out the door. ET captures bawdy, drunken, rawness, the I don't give a fuck what you thinks. ET 's generation, connected to our Mothers and the movies; what we were given to learn from as we were forming our selves in our particular time, all that carried by our generation now. ET lives. Long live ET ! Long live us ! as we watch so much disappear, and feel the clock, the mirrors, feel what is most treasured, reflections in each others work and faces. Beautiful.

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Gorgeous piece, yourself, you have written! Thanks for this beautiful reading. xxL

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I let go of my paid subscription because I had a big expense and so many little ones—Substack! Instacart! Apple Music! Patreon! But reading this I realize that was short-sighted of me and I am going to re-subscribe as soon as I finish writing this. Your writing is so beautiful and insightful and that rare model of what it is to be a woman and 78. I don’t need advice but I do need reflection, to see and be seen. And it’s worth the price and then some.

The connections you make here between Liz Taylor, seeing and being seen, what it’s like to be a woman in the generation born at the end of the war, aging and self-acceptance made my mouth fall open in wonder. “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” is the version I grew up with. It’s all we can do now, isn’t it? See ourselves clearly and recognize our shared humanity—that we DO look human in the mirror and not monstrous—and move on. The analogy is your spine: what’s smashed and broken can’t be unsmashed and unbroken but maybe, just maybe, one can live with it. I’ve been fretting about living with those debts recently but reading your illuminating words I feel hopeful. And beyond the big picture there are so many delights here—the owl mask, the 50-foot women and the muffin tin, Milton’s Sin, and more. (I can’t go back to quote them accurately because I’ll lose this comment. I already tried and had to start over.) Thank you, Laurie. I keep thinking we’ve met somewhere because the world of women in the arts and academia for our generation is a fairly small one, but I think it’s probably just that you feel like a kindred spirit. Keep writing, I’ll keep reading.

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This is a delicious muffin of a comment, and now I’m hungry. Much love and welcome back!

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You write words. I read those words.  No effort. Like riding a bike downhill. I'm not always thinking "Yay Laurie, you're such a genius!" Though that happens too. But whatever I think or feel, I read in rhythm and go where you lead me.

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Beautiful comment and exactly what I hope readers will feel. xxL

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I so enjoy your writing, no matter the subject - it's smart, funny and true and often has me laughing in recognition. Thank you.

Elizabeth Taylor - so exquisitely beautiful, almost too beautiful to be true.

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Thanks so much for this great comment! xxL

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Love this. Laurie. I hope you heal as soon as possible and with little pain. If we lived closer to each other, we could swim together. I believe (perhaps engaging in magical thinking) that water heals everything. XXXOOO

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The fracture healed long ago. It's about treating the osteoporosis more effectively. I wished we lived closer, in any case! xxL

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Me, too!

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"All the other big women working with their big-woman muscles to be number 2 have a better shot at it. Simone de Beauvoir with Sartre. Sylvia Plath with Ted Hughes. Lee Krasner with Jackson Pollock. Elizabeth Hardwick with Robert Lowell. All these 50-foot women have a better shot at squeezing themselves into a muffin tin than Liz. Liz is the biggest 50-foot woman in the pack." Spot F'n On--and THINKING you will be satisfied with #2 is often the biggest act of self-delusion of all. This was so interesting and insightful--love the way you connected to Story of O.

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Thanks, dear Diana. Please come to the next Zoom conversation on August 24 from 3 to 4 . . . there are many smartypants people at these events.

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Count me in!

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Wonderful piece, Laurie. I love the way you braid, so it flows like a river and then comes together at the mouth. I identify so strongly, even from the distance of a different hemisphere and culture. Maybe it's because we are almost the same age.

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Thanks so much for being an understanding reader. It means the world. xxL

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Susan? Oh well, not me but still!! And I hope you feel better.

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Not you!

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Acceptance of past irresponsibilities without regret. It's a nice one hour drive back from the chiropractor, each fourth week, after she pushes my own compressed and wedged T8 back in place. Gets me out of the house.

Love reading you Laurie. Wish I was a wealthy retiree.

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How would you describe yourself?

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Privileged, to have been born in this time and place to a pending divorcee mother posessing the wisdom to begin teaching this firstborn (plus my siblings and her grandchild) how to read and count at age four; along with her grace in showing me that love is unconditional. My best friend.

Lucky, to have survived the arrogance and stupidity of my youth when the best drugs and music were everywhere, along with those new STDs.

Blessed, by the advances in medical science that have enabled the early detection by annual blood test and then radiology to cure my cancer and keep me above ground, making me the oldest male in my father's line. He gained the previous record when his cancer killed him at 62.

Prone to verbosity, thanks for asking. ;-)

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Do you think you could walk me through becoming a paid subscriber? What is a "note", and how would I pay for this subscription?

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Thanks so much. I will give you a link here. You click on it, and it will take you to a window where you can choose the kind of paid subscription you want, and then you will be asked for your credit card information etc. Please let me know if this works. You can email me at: lauriestone@substack.com. Here is the link to subscribe: lauriestone.substack.com/subscribe

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The story is authentic. Thank you; I can think about subscribing. I am challenged by all technology that depends on working with and remembering sequential information. I have a pretty new Mac Air which is always changing formats~ very confusing to me.interferes with participating in online communication

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I just sent you some information about how to subscribe. If you have difficulty, you can write to me at this email, and I will then send you my phone number so we can go through the steps together. You can write to me here: lauriestone@substack.com

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On Designing Women (I forgot the lead characters name) gave a speech that if Elizabeth Taylor had only made National Velvet she still would have legend but the only thing people could talk about was her weight.

I have never forgotten that.

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Laurie, I enjoyed reading yor piece on Elizabeth Taylor. I think she suffered what a lot of child stars, suffered, especially at an image factory like MGM. She was exposed, told she was pretty, was directed by men who controlled her weight, her screen appearance, and even her mannerisms. No wonder she was looking for a man to dominate her. I also think she recognized her own rebellious nature, which was also common with former child stars,and was afraid of herself. She thought a dominant man could control that iin her, but the truth is that she needed to learn that for herself.

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