So tender and, though not part of the story, I love this: 'This space will remain apart from blame, theories, and noise. This space will seek to arouse pleasure and thought.' Amen to that!
What a painful story. It asks the hard questions, mainly, what do we mean to anyone other than ourselves - to you, to him, to her. This is a struggle I am having when I think of my children, who live far away but who are converging on our little house, ostensibly for my birthday. Really, it will be a moment when the question of how much control do I have over my old life and that of my beautiful, frail husband begins to make itself felt.
It seems a number of Laurie's friends are oddly disconnected. I have one friend of 50 + years and if we began to unravel at the edges, it would darken my life enormously. Through her, I can always get a glimpse of myself, the old self, vanishing down the corridor.
I love the photo of the milkweed pod. I also love these essays. This one makes me cry.
Hi, I’m new to your site. Hugely enjoying. May well subscribe soon - I’ve not subscribed to any before but I like the extra facilities you offer to writers. Loved this post “Lil”. It reminded me a little of the film Julia (1977) with Vanessa Redgrave and Jane Fonda. Did you see it? Redgrave was Lil, she wanted to effect world change, make a real difference. Fonda could only stand by and watch her friend and help much later in tiny ways. Look forward to the next post. Alex (avatar pic soon)
Yes. I remember the film. I remember as well Fonda lying in her Girl Scout way she wished she’d had the “courage” to allow her face to turn into bat wings like Vanessa’s—which has to go down as the most back handed of back handed compliments ever. I hope you will subscribe! I don’t have a paywall and do have perks.
I read it twice because the first time my mind was on other things and, yes... something attracted me. I saw experiences out of context. I think that's it. I got caught in questions, what did she mean by that, Why did she put that in? After the second reading, I was asking the question, why am I paying attention to Lil? I've met a hundred Lils. They won't tell you why they do it, and even when they do, which is often, they won't get any deeper than Lil admitting she likes to be bossy. But Laurie, what about her? I want her to share her resentment with me, show me how catty she can be, and let me see her enjoyment, whatever is in there. But as I write this I'm getting that the questions don't lay with either of you. They are about me. Why does the passion to do what's right get me so pissed off? Maybe because it feels shitty to be faced with the uselessness of it? Maybe that's it.
So tender and, though not part of the story, I love this: 'This space will remain apart from blame, theories, and noise. This space will seek to arouse pleasure and thought.' Amen to that!
Thanks so much. xxL
What a painful story. It asks the hard questions, mainly, what do we mean to anyone other than ourselves - to you, to him, to her. This is a struggle I am having when I think of my children, who live far away but who are converging on our little house, ostensibly for my birthday. Really, it will be a moment when the question of how much control do I have over my old life and that of my beautiful, frail husband begins to make itself felt.
It seems a number of Laurie's friends are oddly disconnected. I have one friend of 50 + years and if we began to unravel at the edges, it would darken my life enormously. Through her, I can always get a glimpse of myself, the old self, vanishing down the corridor.
I love the photo of the milkweed pod. I also love these essays. This one makes me cry.
I always want to produce pleasure and not pain. Feeling, for sure. I'm wishing you well for the visits of your children. xxL
Well, life is not all pleasure, Laurie, except the pleasure of sudden understanding. I like your writing tremendously. That alone is a pleasure.
“I loved her for knowing the smallness was not only riding in the car with big things but maybe made them possible.”
This is perhaps my favorite part of your writing. The HOW of your elegant discovery. Gorgeous.
Thanks, love. xxL
Beautiful sloshing around in the sudden downpours of life. Beautiful post.
Thanks, sweetheart. The tone of each day, how we find it. xxL
Hi, I’m new to your site. Hugely enjoying. May well subscribe soon - I’ve not subscribed to any before but I like the extra facilities you offer to writers. Loved this post “Lil”. It reminded me a little of the film Julia (1977) with Vanessa Redgrave and Jane Fonda. Did you see it? Redgrave was Lil, she wanted to effect world change, make a real difference. Fonda could only stand by and watch her friend and help much later in tiny ways. Look forward to the next post. Alex (avatar pic soon)
Yes. I remember the film. I remember as well Fonda lying in her Girl Scout way she wished she’d had the “courage” to allow her face to turn into bat wings like Vanessa’s—which has to go down as the most back handed of back handed compliments ever. I hope you will subscribe! I don’t have a paywall and do have perks.
Love it so and I’m glad you didn’t tell her that she was, well, in that moment, being a shitty friend. Winky emoji and clapping hands too.
What a lovely note. Hard day. Appreciate the connection. xxL
Lovely!🥰
I read it twice because the first time my mind was on other things and, yes... something attracted me. I saw experiences out of context. I think that's it. I got caught in questions, what did she mean by that, Why did she put that in? After the second reading, I was asking the question, why am I paying attention to Lil? I've met a hundred Lils. They won't tell you why they do it, and even when they do, which is often, they won't get any deeper than Lil admitting she likes to be bossy. But Laurie, what about her? I want her to share her resentment with me, show me how catty she can be, and let me see her enjoyment, whatever is in there. But as I write this I'm getting that the questions don't lay with either of you. They are about me. Why does the passion to do what's right get me so pissed off? Maybe because it feels shitty to be faced with the uselessness of it? Maybe that's it.