Congratulations on your marriage. My John and I got married it seems for similar reasons - staring out with keeping our independence and ending up celebrating living with the one person on earth you know you can trust. We're trying not to go ga-ga. What does ga-ga do to trust? I am too old to be afraid of paid assassins, which as you point out, could really be anybody. I love this line, which will provide fodder for my ravenous thoughts all day: "It makes you think about the secret lives we all lead in relationship to each other and how many secrets we can continue to keep."
Thanks, love! It's a baby jackal . . . according to the gods of google. They look alike. Thanks for upgrading! It warms my jackal heart. And yes, prompts, take them all! xxL
Eddy Redmayne kissed me. . So much backstory. A celebration of my close friends life . In a small off broadway theater. He was Eddy’s agent. A stunning afternoon of his clients eulogizing. Daniel Day Lewis last appearance on stage. Other notables. He was one of few gentlemen agents in an industry awash in vipers. I still can’t piece together words to dignify him. His voice I still hear.
PS Thanks for this:"Normally, I think any narrative that uses a backstory to prop up the front story is a broken story I feel no sympathy for. No one knows why anyone does anything, including the person who does it, and I think all stories should leave it at that." This is the finest piece of writing advice I've seen in years.
One of my daughter's first sentence was 'I'll do it myself!' :) love it. And the stumps and your friend not wanting to be in a rage all the time -- I feel that -- more and more it seems just a way of letting the PTB such the energy out of us. Another great post x
"[A]s time passes, it’s changing in my mind from a solution to practicalities about taxes and medical proxies to something symbolic of the emotional attachment I feel."
Jacques (gone for 14 years now) and I had been together for 21 years when we finally got married (in a ceremony in my apartment with 3 other people present, two close friends as witnesses and an Olympic swimmer–minister from our health club that Jacques had the hots for). We joked that since the threshold for recognizing common-law marriage in New York State was 7 years, we'd already been married 3 times.
I soon noticed that being married had changed something, by being an acknowledgment of something that was already true. We no longer had a little bit of daily work to stay together. We had a container that had our backs, so we could relax and lean back, like in a jacuzzi.
My friend Dalma Heyn has written so brilliantly about just that. https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Shock-Transformation-Women-Wives/dp/0679457739 (Waiting 21 years and a crucial, survived rebellion to do it assured me that both my character and our relationship had "set" enough so I had a good shot at not succumbing.)
Oh, I forgot to say that the whole reason we finally bothered to get legally married was because I needed his health insurance. I was having one of my periodic cancer scares, which turned out to be something dismissibly temporary and benign. (So far, they all have been. Knock on wood.) Besides the surprising emotional comfort of that "container," being married did turn out to be a huge blessing when he developed Lewy body dementia and I became his caregiver and advocate.
I loved this - and, congratulations, so loved your reasons for marriage; though this post sent me down on a tree stump journey. Perfect, I thought, for placing pots of 'tumbling toms' to allow more room for tumbling. But here in New Zealand (where we have neither jackals or coyotes) we salvage timber for building, furniture making, burning or chipping. The stumps are ground down or dug out or poisoned so they will rot. So unless we make our own, there are only Mini Wood Effect Cement stools or planters for sale - or beautifully milled pieces of ancient, precious and rare Kauri that, like assassins, come at a great price.
Loved this essay. Have watched both shows. One difference between Black Doves and Jackal is that Black Doves has a sense of humor about all the killing so you never really take it too seriously. The Jackal is serious almost to the point of being sententious.
Congratulations on your marriage. My John and I got married it seems for similar reasons - staring out with keeping our independence and ending up celebrating living with the one person on earth you know you can trust. We're trying not to go ga-ga. What does ga-ga do to trust? I am too old to be afraid of paid assassins, which as you point out, could really be anybody. I love this line, which will provide fodder for my ravenous thoughts all day: "It makes you think about the secret lives we all lead in relationship to each other and how many secrets we can continue to keep."
Conrats to you as well!
I think that’s a coyote pup, not a jackal, but you knew that. Well done, a great post full of personal -for me- prompts.
Subscribing today.
Thanks, love! It's a baby jackal . . . according to the gods of google. They look alike. Thanks for upgrading! It warms my jackal heart. And yes, prompts, take them all! xxL
Eddy Redmayne kissed me. . So much backstory. A celebration of my close friends life . In a small off broadway theater. He was Eddy’s agent. A stunning afternoon of his clients eulogizing. Daniel Day Lewis last appearance on stage. Other notables. He was one of few gentlemen agents in an industry awash in vipers. I still can’t piece together words to dignify him. His voice I still hear.
Cool!
The loss and experience was so impactful . I’ve begun . Stopped. Put in notes. He was such an integral part of my life. Still wanting to eulogize.
Your writing is so detailed, it reads as Universal. You escalate my sense of self, by including me in yours. Thank you so much.
Oh, sweetness, wonderful to hear . . . and of course you know exactly the trick of narrative. xxL
PS Thanks for this:"Normally, I think any narrative that uses a backstory to prop up the front story is a broken story I feel no sympathy for. No one knows why anyone does anything, including the person who does it, and I think all stories should leave it at that." This is the finest piece of writing advice I've seen in years.
One of my daughter's first sentence was 'I'll do it myself!' :) love it. And the stumps and your friend not wanting to be in a rage all the time -- I feel that -- more and more it seems just a way of letting the PTB such the energy out of us. Another great post x
❤️❤️❤️
"[A]s time passes, it’s changing in my mind from a solution to practicalities about taxes and medical proxies to something symbolic of the emotional attachment I feel."
Jacques (gone for 14 years now) and I had been together for 21 years when we finally got married (in a ceremony in my apartment with 3 other people present, two close friends as witnesses and an Olympic swimmer–minister from our health club that Jacques had the hots for). We joked that since the threshold for recognizing common-law marriage in New York State was 7 years, we'd already been married 3 times.
I soon noticed that being married had changed something, by being an acknowledgment of something that was already true. We no longer had a little bit of daily work to stay together. We had a container that had our backs, so we could relax and lean back, like in a jacuzzi.
Ah yes, all that, only not the history of marriage for female humans that to me is feh. xxL
My friend Dalma Heyn has written so brilliantly about just that. https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Shock-Transformation-Women-Wives/dp/0679457739 (Waiting 21 years and a crucial, survived rebellion to do it assured me that both my character and our relationship had "set" enough so I had a good shot at not succumbing.)
Oh, I forgot to say that the whole reason we finally bothered to get legally married was because I needed his health insurance. I was having one of my periodic cancer scares, which turned out to be something dismissibly temporary and benign. (So far, they all have been. Knock on wood.) Besides the surprising emotional comfort of that "container," being married did turn out to be a huge blessing when he developed Lewy body dementia and I became his caregiver and advocate.
All excellent reasons.
Nobody writes a movie/TV show review like Laurie Stone. Top notch.
Thanks!
I loved this - and, congratulations, so loved your reasons for marriage; though this post sent me down on a tree stump journey. Perfect, I thought, for placing pots of 'tumbling toms' to allow more room for tumbling. But here in New Zealand (where we have neither jackals or coyotes) we salvage timber for building, furniture making, burning or chipping. The stumps are ground down or dug out or poisoned so they will rot. So unless we make our own, there are only Mini Wood Effect Cement stools or planters for sale - or beautifully milled pieces of ancient, precious and rare Kauri that, like assassins, come at a great price.
Great post!!
"I love writing for you." Puts into words the how the why the everything of what we do. Thank you.
❤️❤️❤️ We’re getting married tomorrow in Hudson! 4 o’clock, court house.
Do you know of anyone who clears clogged gutters with the skill of a paid assassin? I’d try to come up with the scratch.
Thanks, my dear friend! It’s quite cheap. ❤️❤️
I’m very excited that you’re writing about The Jackal! Haven’t yet read your piece today, but am about to:)
Loved this essay. Have watched both shows. One difference between Black Doves and Jackal is that Black Doves has a sense of humor about all the killing so you never really take it too seriously. The Jackal is serious almost to the point of being sententious.
Yes, both rooms off NOW. Can I interest you in a tree stump?
Oh, sententious assassins are seriously satisfying!
and triggering.
I interviewed her for my old Sessumsmagazine site - everything connects